I do believe there is a shift in society lately, whereby people are looking for something more meaningful in sex. Our sexuality is so fundamental to being human, and our society is so infantile when it comes to understanding and practicing sex, that for a growing number of people there is a deep longing for sexual expression and experience that is richer and more fulfilling.
To get there, we need to approach sex with a great deal more respect, a great deal more intent, and a great deal more commitment. We need to deepen connection and heighten eroticism, we need to feel comfortable enough to really open up and surrender to the experience – in whatever form of sex that might be. It’s not all serious though! Great sex requires lightness and play, that’s what leads to freedom.
Our bodies are exquisitely designed for sexual pleasure, our hearts and minds are capable of extraordinary sexual pleasure, and our souls yearn for that pleasure, as it gives us freedom, meaning, and joy.
Was that poetic? I hope so, I want to put the poetry back into sex. Not that I’m ignoring the raunch, I love a good bit of raunch, but there’s enough raunch out there already, no need for me to add to it! Bring on the poetry!
Enhancing Emotional Connections through the Power of Erotic Thinking
Freedom and security, two essential elements in human existence, are intricately intertwined. We place immense importance on maintaining a delicate equilibrium between them, exerting considerable pressure on our relationships. In recent decades, the Western perception of freedom and security has oscillated like a pendulum, swaying towards risk and then readjusting towards safety, repetitively. Advancements such as accessible contraception, normalized divorces, widespread technological developments, and more have led to unparalleled levels of freedom. In response, we have reflexively adopted self-imposed safety measures, compensating for the absence of traditional institutions that once governed our conduct, flawed as they might have been. This phenomenon can be likened to the concept of “panopticism” coined by French philosopher Michel Foucault—a form of internal surveillance. Security measures, when intertwined with freedom, may manifest as replacing metal playground equipment with rubber alternatives or expanding our understanding and communication surrounding consent. Yet, perhaps the most prominent example lies in our relentless pursuit of quantifying every aspect of our lives through apps that monitor our diet, sleep patterns, physical activity, and even our dating experiences.
While we deeply cherish our freedom, we recognize the need for structure to regulate it. Similarly, we hold our security in high regard, but the tranquility it brings can ignite a longing for enigmatic spontaneity—a facet of eroticism that permeates all aspects of life. However, over the past year, as the COVID-19 pandemic has ensnared the globe, the pendulum that swings between freedom and security has been abruptly disrupted. The implementation of lockdown measures resulted in an abrupt and extreme emphasis on security while severely limiting our freedom, a state of affairs that persists almost a year later. For many of us, this intense focus on safety has stifled the very experiences that contribute to our sense of eroticism in life—exploring new culinary delights, forging new friendships, and serendipitously encountering strangers who may become romantic partners. It is vital to bear in mind that eroticism transcends mere sexuality; it encompasses an immersive experience of vitality that triumphs over stagnation. Moreover, during times of crisis when the shadow of death looms ever closer, countering the specter of lifelessness becomes all the more essential.
Flatness and its Impact on Erotic Connection: How Routine Can Dampen Intimacy
In these times of uncertainty, those fortunate enough to stay home discovered the importance of self-control. Establishing routines and rituals became crucial for a sense of stability. From carefully planning meals to adhering to tightly scheduled work calls and virtual catch-ups with loved ones, we sought solace in the familiarity of our calendars. Boundaries were drawn within our living spaces: my designated workspace at the kitchen table, while you occupied the den for remote learning. As we faced various losses—a beloved’s passing, job insecurity, and an insatiable longing for physical touch—our need for security grew stronger than ever.
In our collective efforts to flatten the curve, we unintentionally flattened ourselves. We intensified our adherence to monotonous routines in search of a semblance of safety. How many innovative ways can we prepare erotic culinary delights? How often do we transition between the couch, the bed, and the kitchen table, yearning for sensual encounters? Perhaps another film tonight? And after enduring countless repetitions, do we still crave the ecstasy of eroticism? Does even self-pleasure feel like an effort too great? The state of flatness profoundly impacts our erotic connection, reverberating throughout every facet of our lives.
Rediscovering the Path to Erotic Bliss
No matter how proficient our routines may be or how much satisfaction they bring us, without an infusion of creativity, they inevitably leave us desensitized. It is within the realm of creativity that Eroticism finds its home. Fueled by curiosity, intuition, and the boundless energy of imagination, creativity beckons us to venture into the unknown. Eroticism, in turn, is the catalyst that reintroduces excitement and adventure into our lives.
In a world where escapism often manifests through video games, mindlessly scrolling through an endless stream of online content, and indulging in the social media whirlwind, we find ourselves trapped in repetitive, addictive activities that offer the illusion of safety and a reliable rush of dopamine. Breaking free from this cycle and rekindling our creativity can be a challenging endeavor. However, it is through the power of imagination that we discover freedom within confinement.
Just as a child envisions themselves as sea captain embarking on an epic ocean voyage or transforming a simple cardboard box into a majestic castle, we too can employ our imagination. A neighborhood stroll can become an exhilarating exploratory adventure, where we engage all our senses to fully immerse ourselves in the experience. A dimly lit kitchen, adorned with flickering candles and a delectable meal for two, can transport us to a cozy hole-in-the-wall restaurant nestled in the heart of Paris. This ability to think with an erotic mindset is what unlocks the door to a world of endless possibilities.
Creating New Patterns for Emotional Connection
Introducing innovative and captivating activities is a remarkable approach to igniting emotional connections. Engaging in new projects, constructing something unique, nurturing plants, observing children as they engage in play, exploring the art of cooking or baking traditional recipes passed down by our ancestors, elevating the dining experience with exquisite linens and fine china, transforming the living room into a luxurious hotel setting, savoring a piece of chocolate as if it were the first time, curating a personalized playlist for someone special—these are the intimate and gratifying gestures that infuse novelty into our lives and kindle a renewed sense of joy.
In the event that these suggestions appear challenging, consider this starting point: gently close your eyes and envision a state of complete emotional flatness. What thoughts occupy your mind? What other emotions emerge? How does your body respond? What actions does it inspire?
Now, reverse the scenario. Imagine the most exuberant feeling you can summon and amplify it to its fullest extent. What thoughts evoke this state of mind? How does it manifest in your body? What actions might it propel you to undertake? Sometimes, merely carrying this mindset of serene excitement with us as we navigate our daily routines can invigorate them. And when we are prepared to delve deeper, our imagination eagerly awaits, ready to guide us further.